Part 0, the number of thousands

Ellis diary, part of 0, the number of thousands
probably April 1993, written June 2005

It is a kind search - a search for the first time. The first friend, who first Fick, which fell, was first time with the mouth… everything it almost as present as at that time as it happened. Yes, after the years often even still more intensively in the pictures and the thoughts drum around. Perhaps, because stories and pictures were conserved in the meantime, alive held of many trips into the time back and of telling and noting for it and for nice humans, who more or less participated in it.
In one of these unbelievably hot Sommernächte it lay awake on its bed, two fingers in their shell and stroked themselves rather mechanically, came nevertheless, like actually always, to a beautiful high point and had suddenly this question in the head: When did the Sexualität actually come? When the first real contact with the own body? When the first high point?
Emptiness. Nothing, not the slight trace was to be found. Not possibly! That cannot be done! There something must be!
Detective Elli proceeds systematically. First the questions, which were to be answered it: What? Where? When? Why?

Stage one of the determinations: Kramen in the head. The präsentesten memories. The first Pornoheft on the Radtour across the forest. No, that was later. When leafing by of the rain few sides verwaschenen it it immediately locally and place made themselves, and it knew them exactly that it was not the first time. Not even the first time that it made it in the forest. The first swarm for a boy. Gerald in the youth club perhaps? Thus she home came, much too late, the lips still deaf from Knut, the nipples still hard and the slip wet before excitation. She had stroked herself also there, hardly that she had closed the Türe to her room. The eyes firmly pressed together, the music still in the ear, the smell of Gerald still in the nose. No, also that was later. The old catholic clearing-up book, which came from its grandparents and was still described in, how self satisfaction with the children be prevented should? Also later. Narrations of friends? None to this topic.

Stage two of the determinations: The friends. Still another nil return. To shoulder-twitch. Deep, long breathing out. Silence. Unpleasant long silence. No answers. Don't they know it? Don't they want to talk about it? Topics, in which men occur, are against it rather lively chat rounds.
“No, no special reason, would have interested, says me simply times” Elli and changes fast the topic.

Stage three of the determinations: Archives. There are documents. That is safe. Are only cleared after the removal. Elli roots in photo albums, clicks themselves by CD-ROM, reads the few saved poems on the Fresszetteln. Nice memories, a few nearly forgotten faces dip. Few are really forgotten. A few memories come passing. Elli catches few, arranges it, adds it to the others. So completely it does not fit yet, the trip is missing still?

Stage four of the determinations: Placing the looked for situation behind and intensive researching in brain archives. That was favorable, turned out. Outstanding conditions apparent created a simulating of the looked for circumstances, in order to open blocked memories again. And in such a way some showed up, fluttered before the closed eyes past, while the fingers rubbed gently over the bead: The afternoons in the swimming pool. Biology instruction about humans. The increasing bosoms. Young from the 8. Class. The Discoabende in the youth club. Annoyance with nut/mother, because she wanted to eat no more meat at one time. The discussions with Elke, Viola, Susanne, Sandra and the others. The first bleedings. The boredom at school. The first shame hair. For everything a few thought, short film scenes came into the head. Words, sentences, feelings… and the first Orgasmus? Nil return. Not there it was. Probably however the beginnings came to the surface, showed up blurred and volatilely. But nevertheless clearly enough, in order to repair the connections. There was probably no cause particularly. It was simply there, and the cause actual table tennis and the number of thousands.

Elke a table tennis plate had gotten April or May 1993, and on Elli with Sandra, Viola played and naturally Elke frequently. It made Elli fun, and if none of the friends had time or desire, it practiced now and then also alone. It played the ball in its room against the wall and took in account. How often it created it on this short distance. One hundred times, three hundred, five hundreds… in the calendar it wrote, wanted to absolutely reach the 1000. But it did not fold. Was particularly annoying, when once with 850 mA came in and over click-click yourself weighted. Elli was diverted and “klock”, the ball to the edge had gone and behind the cabinet had jumped a short moment.

The 1000 became the magic number. Everywhere had to emerge the 1000. In the swimming pool there was 1000 meters, which at a piece were swum. In the Chemie-Unterricht 1000 small boxes in the school booklet, which were painted with felt-tip pens. It wanted to read 1000 books in this year, but that was now really too much. 1000 poems write, because were so beautifully mysterious. 1000 points bring in with the basketball. 1000 own prescriptions note, because mA cooked nevertheless in each case the same. And 1000 time drove itself it in any night over its bead.

That was not the first time that she stroked herself, there was safe of Elli itself. How long, it did not know. But it was safe itself that it had before still none such feeling, as with its “record attempt”. She stroked herself otherwise usually in the evening, briefly before falling asleep. And now and then it woke up in the morning and had its hand still in the slip. When and why it had begun, it did not know. Why it not to stop could already: It was simply beautiful. And in this evening it wanted to reach the 1000.

Elli had several kinds of stroking itself. Three, in order to be exact. First was simple, it circled with the index finger only slowly and gently, then ever faster and with ever more pressure around its bead. With second it drove off with three fingers its shell along, simply on and, shifted apart thereby with the showing and the Ringfinger their lips easily and made so the way free for the middle finger, which massed then the bead. With third it finally pressed its lips together with thumbs and index fingers above, so that their bead was massed under it. Later the methods a little and them changed kept account even concerning it. But that is another history. For its first 1000 it decided for the third method.

It undressed in addition also completely which did not make it otherwise. But the slip seemed it now nevertheless hinderlich. And it knew, it had enormously to increase. More it had not ever created than 600. And today it did not want to give up. It began completely slowly. Terribly slowly. More pressed the lips than the bead. Was not permitted actually, but for the 1000, there is the already ok. One, two, three, four, five, six, sieve, eight, nine… tormenting slowly preceded it. If it pressed in one second, then thus 60 is in the minute. It would need over one quarter of an hour. Elli accelerated something. Pressed faster, and concomitantly more firmly. The feeling became more concrete, went in more deeply: eighty-in, eighty-two, eighty-three… Elli pressed with the left hand, the right counted the hundreds: one hundred, two hundred, three hundred… thousands. Out!

Everything between them is forgotten. Or at least there most. Still a few memories: Was mad, it was unique, it was something new - therefore Elli was also sure that she had a Orgasmus. Probably even two. Because first came with under 500. It made faster thereafter only one while still, so that it created the 1000. But then it became unpleasant. It became more slowly, completely slow: six hundred in, six hundred one hundred, six hundred one hundred… long tracing between each pressing. It did not want to give up. And then the feeling became again better. A mixture out beautifully and blöd. As at the beach with the rough flints. It was actually uncomfortable, it pressed and piekte, but it did not rise nevertheless. And in such a way Elli continued still. Faster now again. Still faster. Even faster than before, than this beautiful feeling came suddenly again and seemed this mark in the infinite to increase.

Itself Elli is not completely safe whether it folded a second time at that time. It did only to pain at one time: … first it tried eight hundred forty, eight hundred forty-in, eight hundred forty-two to make it completely fast. But then it did not go any longer. She had already wet chewed the Zipfel of her cushion. It changed it for hand, because their left was quite smeared by their juice, any longer to stop did not want to flow. Only thought it, it bleeds. It did not want to give up. Carefully it cost, continued however with that rights nevertheless slowly. No, no blood. It, that knew the taste it several times of the fingers had already licked. It excited it again, diverted it a little. Also fingers of the right hand were fast glitschig and made it heavy for it to seize their lips correctly. It changed again, pulled up fast the T-Shirt and wiped its left hand at its chest drying. But no break, that would have been unfair, then it would not have counted. Thus further. Change again the hand: nine hundred sixty, sixty-in, sixty-two…

And then the latter, probably only suggested, no longer firmly pressed, more counted than felt. Created! Which for a blöde idea! Which for a great thing! The 1000 had lost, Elli had won.

Zucchini Küchlein:

2 medium sized Zucchini
3 eggs
2 EL flour
something milk
Salt, pepper, Paprikapulver
Oil

The Zucchini washes, brown places removes, with one kitchen-rubs finely raspeln. The eggs with the flour to a paste strike, after taste with salt, pepper and Paprika pepper. Extend with milk that the paste is very liquid and gives the Zucchiniraspel in addition. Well, with a spoon portionieren and in a pan with plentifully hot olive oil out-bake, on each side approx. 2 minutes mix.
Taste outstanding hot as lukewarm hors-d'oeuvre or with a sharp Salsa.
Good appetite!

A true history, which happened in such a way or so similarly. Names and places are partially changed, in order to protect the Privatsphäre of the persons. Who feels nevertheless concerned, should announce itself please. The entire text is after the copyright law property of tinalisatina. Spreading, storage or duplication, in particular on electronic way, require express written permission - also in changed or revised form or in part. This is usually given for not commercial purposes (inquiries to tinalisatina@yahoo.de). This history may not be made accessible young people under 18 years. The valid in each case national rights are to be kept.